The Take Home
by LazyMasochistBoot
Summary: Edward needs a girlfriend to get his parents off his back. So, he rents one. Isn't that what everyone does? In a world where your "girlfriend" is paid to show affection, can you really fall in love? LEMONS AND HUMOR. Full summary inside.
1. Purple Shirt with The Killer Ass

**Edward has got the looks but not the um...swag? With his parents constantly setting him up on dates, Edward needs a girl to temporarily settle down with. That's where Bella comes in. In a life where your "girlfriend" is paid to show affection, can you really fall in love?**

**A/N: Teehee, so here I am with my motherfucking third fanfic. I'm so fucking proud of myself! So, I came up with this idea on a whim. I was in the middle of writing Chapter 6 of "Bella…Isabella?" when I suddenly got bored of writing innocent Bella and wanted a sexy, kick ass will break your heart Bella. Needless to say, I needed a "Bella" not an "Isabella"…if you don't know what I'm talking about then I suggest you duck over to read my other fic. It'd be appreciated. For those of you who understand…kudos.**

**So, anyway here it is. Please give a try…I'm a review whore. And if ya didn't know, I reply to my reviews and I listen to advice/suggestions so…yup. Plus, I give out TEASERS!**

**Please enjoy! P.S. If you love Kings of Leon then you're gonna love this, cause I'm putting in like a ton of references! :P Chapter songs are: Dusty and Taper Jean Girl by Kings of Leon…it takes acquired minds to like them. ;)**

**I'm looking for something **

**To sink in my teeth without any crying**

**But I can't find no place or nothing**

**Where thrills are cheap**

**And love is divine**

**Kings of Leon ~Dusty**

EPOV

"It's the only way to get mom and dad off your back," my brother Emmett said. After he noted my doubtful look he shoved the piece of paper in my hand. "Look, just call…or at least think about it. Unless, of course you want to see if Aro is still free?" My brother asked jokingly. I blanched.

That pretty much settled it, I was going to call. I couldn't handle it if my parents set me up again. Aro, was a man who I had the "pleasure" of going on a date with. I didn't realize that Aro was a man until he plopped down before me in the restaurant and started putting on some berry flavored chap stick.

I wasn't sure exactly when my parents started assuming I was gay but, there he sat. When I confronted them about the fact that Aro—whose name I thought was short for Arona or Aroneesha or something remotely feminine—was a man, my mother simply said, "Dear, I apologize but you haven't ever brought home a girl and I simply assumed…" she trailed off and my father simply shook his head. I noted the sigh of relief he emanated when I said I wasn't into guys. Then, my mother added, "Well, just so as you know, we would have loved you anyway," then she smiled. She wasn't lying. My parents were very compassionate people and though the idea of my being gay might have slightly disappointed my father, he would have supported me. As long as my companion had some interest in sports. But I wasn't, so this topic is irrelevant.

And so, because I did not want to know if Aro was free, I called the number that was written down on the crumpled sheet of paper. With a shaking hand, I held the phone up to my ear and waited.

Being the stepford child that I was, I shouldn't have been doing this. Emmett informed right off the bat that this wasn't a verified company and that I shouldn't flaunt this number around because the illegality might cause trouble.

Emmett told me that this was strictly for people who knew how to "shut the hell up" and he informed me that I had better be one of those people. I could be. I am. I wouldn't dare risk going to jail for something like this.

"Hello?" a girl's voice on the other end of the line said.

I couldn't speak or find my words. My mouth just hung open. "Hello?" they tried again.

I swallowed loudly. "Um…hi."

"Hi, so do you have something to say to me?" their voice got lower.

Oh right! Emmett told me about this. I looked down at the paper and read Emmett's messy script. "The bird caws at midnight," I recited. This all sounds ridiculous.

"How high does he fly?"

"Higher than the sky can fly?" I said it as a question because really this was stupid.

The girl laughed. "Okay, you're through. So, what can I do for ya today?"

"Um…I'm calling for a…" I looked to the paper where my directions were written, "a…take home," I finished. I trusted Emmett had written everything down correctly.

"Uh huh. I trust you know our precautions?" They asked.

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Good. So you need a Take Home. For how long?" I heard the sound of paper being torn.

I didn't think of that. "How much for a week?"

"A week is $2800, can you swing that?"

"Uh, yes. Yes, I can." I still had way too much money in my bank account. More than enough.

"Great. So, Mr…."

"Cullen. Edward Cullen." I said swiftly.

The girl giggled. "Are sure it's not Bond?"

I furrowed my brow and then realized the idiotic way in which I'd introduced myself. I nervously chuckled. "Um…yea. Sorry. No, I'm sure."

She sighed when her giggling subsided. "Alright, well, Edward, I'm Alice. I'm going to need you to meet up with one of our girls for a meeting and the details will be discussed more thoroughly, seeing as how the phone is a bit public. What day is good for you?"

"Err…anytime this week would be fine." It's not like I have anything to do.

"Great. Bella's free tomorrow. Um, hold on," she said to me. "Bella we got a Take Home meeting tomorrow where do you need him?" she shouted, her voice muffled slightly. I heard someone speak indistinctly to her to which she responded, "Got it. Okay, hello?"

"Yes?"

"Okay, Bella wants you to meet her in front of Ragoo. You know where that is?"

"Yes, I do." Ragoo was one of my favorite places to go for coffee and silence.

"Great. So, tomorrow at three. She says she'll be the one with the one with the purple shirt-"

A voice in the back ground yelled something again and Alice giggled once more. "—and the killer ass, she wants me to add. So, tomorrow look for the girl with the purple shirt and the killer ass."

I cleared my throat and Alice's laughs cut off abruptly. "Sorry, she's a total psycho," she apologized. Good to know.

"That's fine. So…um…tomorrow then. At Ragoo, three o'clock. I've got it."

"Great! You know, Edward, I think this will be a very…beneficial arrangement for you. Bye," she said and then she hung up.

I sat on the couch in my spacious apartment with the phone up to my ear wondering what the heck she was talking about. There was a definite undertone to her words. After what felt like hours, I dropped the phone and lay down.

It felt like I'd just closed my eyes when a hand was punching me in the shoulder. "Get your lazy ass up, chicken bits!"

I groaned. "Emmett…why?" I asked groggily. It was Saturday, there was no need for him to be pestering me. I suspected it was early in the morning as well.

"Douche bag, it's one in the frickin afternoon, don't you have somewhere to go?" he coerced.

My eyes hot open. Crap! I have to meet Bella uptown in 2 hours. I looked at the clock on the wall. 2:15.

"Emmett, it's two not one!" I chastised as I sprinted to the bathroom.

"Oh. Sorry, I get confused man. How am I supposed to know whether the hand is behind or before the number!" he shouted to me. Idiot.

Ragoo was a great place but I didn't visit frequently because it's about an hour away from my apartment. After, I took the quickest shower I could manage I rushed out into the living room and started gathering my keys. Emmett was still on my couch.

"Dude, you're wearing that?" he asked in a disbelieving voice.

I looked down at my beige khaki's and blue polo shirt. What? "What's wrong with this?"

"Dude, this company. It's—Caius, my work colleague, he's the one who gave me this number and told me about this place."

"Get to the point, Emmett," I said as I scurried out the door with him on my heels. Apparently, he was coming with me. This became clear, when he jumped in the car beside me.

"The point is," he continued, "that he said that every single fucking chick there is hot as hell. And here you are, dressed up like some sort of gay golfer to meet one."

I scoffed as I navigated through the town as hastily as legal. "Emmett, you forget that I'm paying for this. They don't have to like me. They're paid to tolerate me." I pointed out.

"Oh, I guess I didn't think of that. Whatever then, man," he shrugged and then looked out the window. I turned the radio on and was shocked and delighted about what came on.

"Aha shake taper jean girl with the motel face…" No way was this on! This was one of my favorite Kings of Leon songs. Emmett groaned recognizing the song from the many times he'd heard me blasting it in my room. I ignored him and started singing along.

"No room for make up! I think he's tasted…tasted the watcher!" I sang in my best impression of Caleb Followill, the lead singer. I tapped the beat on the steering wheel when it got to the guitar solo.

"And then a shake, shake break down coming now hard! And then a keep on keep on keep on waving in a jar!"

"What the hell does this song even mean!" Emmett asked as the last bass notes were played.

I sighed. "It's song it could be taken many ways but to me it's…about a girl who's tainted and irresistible. One you can't stay away from, one that everyone has had."

"So, she's a total slut?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not really. She's a girl that everyone wants and almost everyone gets. She's easy, not in terms of simply sex but in terms of…everything."

"Whatever. This song is freaky. I mean think about it 'cunts watch their bodies' 'tasted the watcher'," he quoted and I was surprised he even listened to the words. "It's totally about sex. Dirty sex, at that."

"Only a narrow minded person would see it that way. It's a sexual song but it's more than that. I quit," I said as I jumped from the car after parking in front of Ragoo. I checked my watch. 3:34. Crap!

I rushed through the red doors. Ragoo was an adorable little café. It was all red and the inside was decorated almost identically to that of the one on that chick show, Friends. The one Kate used to subject me to. Forget her, Edward.

I stopped in the doorway, off to the side and looked around. Emmett joined me briefly, coming in to tell me he was going to get chicken down the street. I nodded and continued my search for a purple shirt. I finally spotted one near the back. The person was small with brown hair and a bright purple shirt on, she was sitting on the long beige couch in the center of the shop. I made my way to her and tapped her on the shoulder hesitantly.

"Ar-are you B-Bella?" I asked, in a shaky voice.

Slowly, the person turned. Hot dippity dog, she was beautiful. Brown hair with traces of red, brown eyes like chocolate or coffee and the poutiest lips you'll ever see. They were pink and looked soft and…she had the cutest nose I'd ever seen in my life. Really? A nose? You're obsessing over a nose.

"You're late," she said simply as she appraised me. Her eyes widened fractionally before she cleared her throat and gestured to a booth in the far left corner of the room. I nodded and led the way. I slid into the left side of the booth and she sat in front of me.

"So," she said.

"Um…so," I responded. She narrowed her eyes at my response and started for a few moments before looking away to the counter by the couch. "Jake! Gimme a Frappuccino, extra foam and…" she looked at me.

"Um, coffee. Black, please."

"…and plain. Black. Coffee," she said staring at me the whole time with questioning eyes.

"Got it, Bells!" the tall, russet man responded.

"So, state your business. Edward, right?" she asked, cocking her head.

"Yes. Edward," I cleared my throat before continuing. "I, um…I need someone to pose as my girlfriend for a week. Uh…my parents, they think—I'm not—I can't…I'm not very…"

"You're not very what?" she asked as a waitress came over and set down our two cups. "Thanks, Leah," Bella said to the olive skinned beauty who smiled and walked away.

"I'm not-"

"Dude," she patted my hand on top of the table, "take a deep breath. Calm down, I won't bite…unless you pay me to," she winked. I must've looked as freaked out as I felt because she quickly added, "I'm kidding. Just relax and tell me why you're doing this."

I did as she told and took a deep breath. "I'm not very good at talking to people—girls especially. Because of this, I haven't had many relationships. In fact, I've only had one and it only lasted a month. My parents are…concerned for me and I want to get them off my back. Long story short, I'm doing this because my parents have gone so far as to…set me up with a man-"

Bella sputtered in her coffee. It splattered on the table and in her face. She hastily cleaned the mess with a napkin. "Sorry. So, are you like bi?" she asked with a red tint to her cheeks.

"No, no! It's just, I haven't ever brought a girl home and they assumed I was gay. I have no interest in men, I assure you. I just, I need someone to take home to them so they'll maybe get off my case…for a while at least. I was told you could help me with that."

She nodded as she sipped her coffee. "Yup, I can. So, I trust Alice has informed you of fees?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, she did."

"Right. So, all we need to do is work out the fine details." I nodded and she continued. "Okay, so rule number one: You pay me, every night. Four hundreds dollars, no IOU's or bullshitting me. I have people who deal with bailers like that," she warned. Once again I nodded. "Rule numero dos, I need to know when you'll need me cause I have a life and a boyfriend that needs me as well." her voice trailed off on the last part.

My eyes widened. Boyfriend? And she's doing this? Does he know? "You have a boyfriend?" I asked. Part of me was simply peeved that she was taken. Like I had a chance.

"Yea," she nodded to the counter again. "Jake, my boyfriend."

She was nodding to the russet man who she'd given our order too. He was standing there watching me—glaring at me is more like it but then he nodded to Bella and gave her a wide smile. He's standing here watching her with me!

"He knows," she said bringing my attention back to her. Her face was calm but there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

"He does?" I asked incredulous.

"Yes, and he's fine with it. As long as it doesn't get like…to the level of actual sex. That's Heidi's job," she mumbled.

"He doesn't care that you pretend to date other men?" I asked in disbelief.

She sighed and started rubbing her legs subconsciously. "Look, Edward," she said in a quieter voice, "Jake knows I'd never cheat on anyone and he was aware of my job before we even dated. He says he's fine with it," she shrugged. "And if it makes you feel better, I'm dumping him soon," she added dismissively as she picked up her cup again.

Wow, he must mean so much to her, I thought sarcastically. "Okay, may I ask why?" I don't know why I needed to know, but I did.

"He's banging Leah," she said with a nonchalant shrug.

"The waitress?" I gasped. This is like a soap opera.

"Yup," she said popping the 'p'. She rubbed her arms disinterestedly. Everything about this girl was so indifferent and careless. "So, back to business." she said with a sniff. Then I noticed her eyes were red and her pink lips were quivering.

"Bella?" I questioned as a tear fell down her cheek. "Gosh…Bella," I said as I got up and slid into her booth beside her. She let her head fall into my shoulder as she cried.

"I am so fucking sorry," she choked. "It's just…he was so blatant and out with it. It's like either he's stupid or he didn't even care!" She sniffed and then lifted her face to mine. Her face was now pink all over and her eyes almost blood red. Hair stuck to her face from the tears. She looked down at my jacket. "I'm sorry, I ruined your jacket, god, I'm a fuck up!" She started brushing at my wet jacket, which really only smeared everything.

"It's okay, Bella," I said grabbing her wrists. I grabbed her chin angled it up to me. "It's okay," I said again, hoping she'd understand that I meant more than just the jacket. She blinked up at me and then slowly nodded. It was then that I realized how close to my face she was, how close to my lips hers were.

"Bella! You on the clock already?" an annoyed voice asked and we both turned to see Jake standing at the table glaring at the two of us—mostly me. Okay, only me.

I felt Bella's hand on my neck and I turned to face her but she was looking past me at him, her hand still on me. She narrowed her eyes before turning back to me and abruptly kissing me hard.

I might've grunted in surprise before kissing her back a bit. It felt wrong. I knew she was doing this for Jake to see. So it was revenge kiss and I was being used. But, when I felt her tongue on my bottom lip, I kinda didn't care anymore. I kissed her back and let my tongue play with hers, and they softly and sensually massaged it each other. My hand on it's own accord snaked around her slim waist and I think I felt her hand in my hair; the rest of the world forgotten. I felt myself get hard and then a stronger, harder hand was on my shoulder and I knew whose and it was like a huge bucket of cold water. Hard on gone.

I was pulled back and away from Bella's lips and thrown onto the floor. Jake hovered over me.

"Motherfucker!" he yelled. I got to my feet hastily and held up my hands in surrender.

"Hey, man, I-" I didn't finish my sentence before he swung at me. I quickly dodged because there's no way in hell I'm getting beat up by a cheating jackass. Hmm, what a colorful vocabulary I have suddenly.

I grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back bringing him against me and then kicked his lower back to propel him away. He staggered a bit before turning to me and stomping forward with murder in his eyes.

"Hey, motherfucker!" someone yelled from the doorway and I briefly peeked to see Emmett approaching, his huge body shaking in anger. Ah, Jake, what a tangled web you've weaved. "Back the fuck off my baby brother, mofo."

Jake made the idiotic mistake of attempting to hit Emmett and, with a smile, Emmett dodged and punched him square in the gut with a 'thwack' sound. It was one of those moments where everyone in the room went 'ooh'. I even flinched a little as he fell to the ground, clutching his stomach.

"Wow," I heard Bella say behind me and I turned to see her looking back and forth between Emmett and me with reverence. I smirked cockily at her looked to my brother who was doing much the same. I was suddenly thankful to my brother for insisting I take boxing classes with him every Thursday, grateful that I was able to impress the gorgeous woman who looked up at me almost lustfully.

BPOV

"He did what?" Alice asked rhetorically but I answered anyway.

"Yup. Jacob like staggered and turned to start some more shit and he was ready for him but then his big Hulk of a brother barges in and he's all, 'hey motherfucker. Back off my baby brother,'" I said imitating his voice.

Rosalie laughed. "Wow, was he cute?"

I rolled my eyes. "Rosalie they were both fuck hot."

She nodded. "Okay, continue."

"So, then Jacob tries to hit his brother and the dude dodges and socks Jacob right in his fucking stomach and he collapsed on the floor. It was hilarious!"

"What'd you?"

"I sat there, frozen, for like the longest time before my lame ass decided to say, 'wow' I mean really? I could have said so many other things but I say 'wow'. Anyway, so then Edward turns to me and he's got this smug look on his face and his chest is heaving and he's breathing hard and I was just like so…intensely turned on."

"Oh em gee," Alice squeaked. "So then what?"

"So, then he smiled at me and grabbed my hand and just walked me out of the restaurant, no backward glances at Jacob or anyone else. He just strutted out proudly, holding my hand and his brother followed suit with the biggest shit eating grin you'll ever see."

**A/N: I had to stop right there because I had no clue how to continue. :P**

**REVIEWS? **

**I like this story because I'm really excited to break into different aspects of an E/B relationship. I want them to come together in everyway. I've written about them together by force, and out of spite but this is out of an agreement. **

**I realize with this I'll have three Works In Progress but I'll still update frequently. It's the last semester of this school year and I have time. :) **

**I appreciate you guys for reading. Thank you all so much. **

**Come chat with me on Twitter ElmoStew and don't forget to review and tell me what you think!**

**~LazyMasochist (Marie)**


	2. I'm Wet, You're So Wet

**Hey you guyssssssss! New chapter! Woooooo! Yay! I won't blab too much since I haven't updated in forever sooo….see ya at the bottom! Thanks for the reviews! **

**UNBETA'd for now…Twilight ain't mine, yo!**

**Chapter Song: True Love Way by Kings of Leon**

**Wanted like a substitute**

**I've been working awful hard for you**

**But you don't say, you just hold your breath**

**So I can't touch what I haven't yet**

**EPOV**

It won't be awkward. It won't be awkward. It will not be awkward. I guess I thought if I repeated it enough, it'd be true.

"Name?" the woman at the front desk asked me as I approached her.

"Uh…Jason," I stammered. This was all really nerve wracking. Bella had called me earlier that day and instructed me to give that false name to the woman. Some necessary secrecy thing.

"Oh, Mr. Jenks, your wife is waiting for you in the room," she said with an insinuating smirk. My wife? What? Does she think—

I shook my head furiously. "Oh, I'm not here to…I mean, I didn't come here to…"

"Sir, what you do in your room is no business of mine," she said, still grinning salaciously.

I sighed. "What room?"

She handed me a keycard. "314 B."

"Thank you," I said, taking the card from her.

"Enjoy your stay," she winked.

Whatever, I thought as I made my way onto the elevator, pressing the 3rd floor button. The quiet music in the elevator played as the bell rang upon my reaching the first floor. The doors opened to reveal a tiny woman with short, spiky brown hair. She practically skipped onto the elevator. "Morning," she sang, grinning and pressing the lobby button.

"Morning," I reply quietly, confused and a bit scared by the overly energetic girl.

"I like your hair," she said looking up at the top of my head, "very odd color," she smiled. "It's like copper or maybe bronze," she said with a secret smile. "Is that your natural color?"

"Uh…yea. Yea it is." What's happening right now? One more floor, I think as the elevator dings, arriving at the second floor. A beautiful blonde woman steps on, her purse in hand, a small smirk on her face as she glances at the tiny girl then back at me.

"Hey," she says to me, looking me up and down as the doors close.

"Hello," I respond but my voice is barely above a whisper. The way she's looking at me makes me gulp as I stare back, feeling unable to avert my eyes from her focused blue ones.

"You have gorgeous eyes," she says, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from in front of my eyes. "So green." She smirks up at me, waiting for a response just as the bell dings, indicating my arrival to the third floor.

My mouth opens and closes a few times before I finally stutter out, "T-thank you. But this is my stop, ladies." I hurriedly maneuver around and make my way off of the elevator, walking as quickly as possible down the hallway.

I hear a childish giggle coming from behind me that I guess must belong to the tiny one. "Rosalie, you scared the crap out of him!"

"Oh, he's fine," the other girl responds quietly before yelling after me, "Have fun with Bella, Edward!" I turn quickly just in time to see her grin as the doors close. How the—

"Edward!" someone says and I look to my left to see Bella standing in the doorway. "I mean Jason," she grins before opening the door more, inviting me inside. "You coming?" she asks when I continue to stand outside, ogling her in her tight jeans and snug gray shirt. Oh.

"Oh, yea. Yea," I say, walking past her into the room. Whoa. This must be a suite or something. The walls look freshly painted an emerald color, the carpet is void of any dust and fine furniture adorns almost every inch of the room. Not to mention the huge, king sized bed in the middle of the room, glaring at me. Did she have to bring me to a hotel? Me? The guy she made out with less than 48 hours ago? Did she not notice how attracted to her I was? Why?

"It's pretty extravagant, huh?" Bella asked, bringing me back from my thoughts. "It's a proven fact that the honeymoon suites are the cleanest rooms in a hotel, so I booked this for the rest of our week together. Seeing as how we can't go to the place I usually meet customers at anymore." She laughed a little at the end. Right, I can't go to Ragoo anymore. "You don't mind, do you? It was either a hotel or my place and I…well…Jacob's still moving his stuff out so…"

She lived with him? He's moving her stuff out. His stuff was with her stuff. His stuff had touched her stuff, blended with her stuff. How long would it take for him to get his stuff out? Long enough for her to take him back? Long enough for him to…be with her one more time? It was sickening. I felt as if I'd staked some sort of claim on her the other day. I guess not.

"Edward? Is it ok?" she placed a hand on my arm, looking worried.

"Y-yea, it's fine." I cleared my throat. "So, what are we…why are we here?"

"Oh, well, first…not to sound rude but do you have the money?" She bit her lip nervously. Oh!

I patted my pocket in which four hundred dollars rested in an envelope. "Yes, I have it here."

"Great, could I see it? Not that I don't trust you but I've been gypped way too many times and I just wanna make sure it's legit." She held her hand out for the envelope. "I'll give it right back, I swear."

"Oh, okay," I fished the envelope out and handed it to her. She smiled kindly as she took it from me, taking a hundred dollar bill out and holding it up to the light, checking for legitimacy. "Someone's given you counterfeit money before?" I asked, my brows raised.

She sighed, rolling her eyes and handing the envelope back to me. "So many times when I was just starting out with this. I'd take the money from them and drive all the way home before I finally looked at the money real close and saw that it was fake. Pissed me off. I hate bullshitters.

"Oh, yea…uh…me too," I stammered. She chuckled at me.

"Edward, relax dude. You asked why we were here, well, we're here because, as a Take Home, my job is to be your girlfriend. In these cases, I like to take the first day to try and get to know my 'boyfriend' and for my 'boyfriend' to get to know me. This can't be successful if you take me to meet your parents and you're standing two feet away from me, stuttering because your parents have just asked you a basic question that you, as my boyfriend, should know. So, we are here to get acquainted and to learn." She smiled, took my hand and led me to the bed. She hopped on it, stomach down, and pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her bosom and a pen from her hair. I wanted to be that paper. Badly. "Sit," she said to me, patting the bed and, awkwardly, I made my way onto the bed—which I soon discovered was a water bed—settling next to her. The bed wobbled and dipped under my weight. She watched me expectantly. Quick, dummy, try and make a joke.

"It's quite…jiggly up here…like Jello," I stammered. What the fuck and I saying? Jiggly? Like Jello? Fuck me. Bella looked at me confusedly for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"Edward, you are positively adorable," she grinned. "It's gonna be a fun week." Adorable? That was a good thing right? And she did say this week would be fun? That's gotta mean something right? Right? I've got until this time next Tuesday to make it mean something, I thought sadly. No time at all to make this gorgeous girl like me. I furrowed my brow, when did I start planning this?

"Let's get down to business though," she said, uncapping the pen. "What is your full name?"

I guess that was something a girlfriend should know. "Uh…Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I sputtered. She's going to get tired of my stuttering and nervousness.

"Ooh, look at you, Mr. Four Names," she teased. I smiled back at her playfulness.

"What's yours?" I asked, bashfully.

She looked over at me suddenly, probing my face before taking her bottom lip between her teeth and speaking. "Isabella Marie Collins Swan," she said, her brows pulled together seriously.

I tried to be funny again. "Look who else has four names," I grinned and she sighed, smiling back wide.

"Yea, I guess we're both spiffy like that," she laughed. "Through second marriage or…" she asked.

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Your two last names. Did a parent remarry or…what?"

"Oh, my mom just wanted me to keep her name and have my dad's as well," I explained.

"Oh, my parents split so my mom just gave me her and dad's name so no matter where I was, I still belonged to one of them," she said with a fond grin, "My mom's kinda zany. She doesn't like to eliminate names. She's kept my dad's name as part of her and she's remarried now!"

"She sounds cool," I said sweetly. Maybe I'll meet her someday.

"Yea?" she asked.

I nodded and she smiled at me once more before turning away and scribbling my name down on the paper. "So, Edward, birthday?" she asked, back in her serious, interview mode.

For the next twenty minutes we took turns sharing our information with each other, Bella offered several times to give me a piece of paper but each time I declined because it'd be impossible to forget anything about her. Isabella Marie Swan, September 13, 1987. Daughter to Charlie Swan and Renee Swan Fields Collins. Graduate of Forks High, coffee addict, loves celeb magazine, is best friends with sarcasm and enjoys touching my hair.

No, really, she does. She's done it six times in the last ten minutes. Unabashedly, I've counted. I've smiled like an idiot every time too. She does it nonchalantly as if she doesn't even realize she's doing it. Or as if she's been doing it for years.

"I think we might have covered everything except…the physical stuff," she said quietly, biting her lip. Physical? Physical stuff with her? Fuck…

"W-what do you mean?" I asked and I realize that up until this moment, I hadn't been stuttering. I had been relaxed. Hmm.

"Oh, I don't mean…I'm not suggesting we…I wouldn't…not sex!" she exclaims and I'm slightly wounded by how panicked the idea of that got her. Of course, she couldn't even imagine sex with me.

"Oh. Then what do you mean?" I asked, concealing the hurt from my voice.

"I just mean…kisses and hugs and stuff. I 'm sure your parents won't believe we're really together at the dinner if there's no contact whatsoever. The information will mean nothing. So, we should practice…interacting with each other. As a couple."

As a couple. Us. "Okay," I say a bit too happily. Bella smiles and pushes a strand of my hair back from my face before getting off the bed. She did it again. She touched my hair.

"Okay, I think we should save kissing for last, since I don't think we'll have much work to do on that considering what happened at Ragoo the other day. I mean that was…" she paused as if remembering the kiss and then shook her head, blowing a breath through her lips. "Never mind," she said, "we'll start with our entrance." She grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed towards the door. She pulled us close together in front of the door and looped her arm through mine. "Observe. Very small distance between us. Now, when your parents open he door and greet and blah blah blah then they tell us to come in; I walk in first and you walk beside me with your hand…here." She grabbed my hand and put it on the small of her back. I relish in the feeling of her warmth. "It's a small yet important gesture. It says, 'she is mine' and 'I can't keep my hands off her' but it's also respectful to your parents. You don't want to be groping me in front of them," she snorted. She's mine. I can't keep my hands off her. She's mine. "Got it?" she asked, pulling my hand from her back and holding it. I blush. So manly, right?

"Yea, I got it," I smile.

"Good," she smiles kindly. Next will probably be the small talk in the living room while dinner finishes cooking, they'll ask stuff about me and blah blah blah. Throughout the chat, you'll need to do little things—touchy things—to show affection to me." She pulls me back to the bed and we sit on the edge together. She's still holding my hand. "Like holding hands. That's a good show of affection. Or putting your arm around me." She pulls my arm around her shoulders. "Or maybe resting your hand on my knee." My hand is placed gingerly on her knee. I lick my lips, my mouth going dry. And her eyes seem to follow my tongue. Oh. "Or even brushing a strand of hair from my face." I feel my hand move and touch a strand of her soft hair. Our eyes lock. Brown to green. Chocolate to emerald. "And then a soft, chaste kiss on my lips," she mumbles, our faces coming closer but I can't, for the life of me, tell who it is that's inching closer. Her eyes find my lips, my eyes find her tongue as it swipes across her bottom lip. Our noses brush, heads tilt and suddenly we're kissing. Again.

It's just as she suggested at first. Chaste. Innocent. But then somehow it changes and it's no longer just her lips touching mine. It's her hand in my hair. And after I feel that, it's impossible for my hand not to wrap around her waist and for my tongue to not find it's way past her lips. Once my tongue touches hers, all sense of control seems to evade her body and I follow suit with her suddenly frantic movements.

She moans into my mouth, her tongue frantically teasing and rubbing and stroking mine as if her life depended on it. As if she'd been waiting for this. Had she been? My thoughts are cut off when I feel her hand travel down my chest and sit on my belt. It just sits there. Will she?

She continues kissing me, her fervor increasing every second and I try and kiss her back just as enthusiastically. Her hand fists in my hair, tugging and I emit a sound that starts low in my throat. A groan…a growl. It's wild and feral and completely animalistic. Completely unlike me. But Bella seems to like it. The sounds spurs her on and before I can even register it, I'm on my back and she's straddling me, sucking and licking and biting my lips. _She's_ an animal. And I'm loving it. Her hands travel up my chest then down again as she moans, gripping me; on their third time down she grabs hold of my buckle—Fuck, are we really going to do this?—she hurriedly undoes it.

And then….

I'm wet.

And cold.

Wet?

Shouldn't she be? What's happening?

"I'm wet," I say pathetically, tearing my lips from hers.

"Me too. Wait, what?" she says confused and panting. And then it dawns on both of us. The bed. "Shit, the bed!" she scrambles up, pulling me with her and we stand, both breathing hard, and watch the water squirt from a spot in the center of the bed from which the pen Bella was using is sticking up from. Stupid pen.

The water spills onto the floor, pooling around the bed and slowly inches towards us. Bella runs both hands through her hair, shaking her head and mumbling to herself. "So fucking stupid," I hear her hiss. Confused, I look down at my clothes. They're soaked. How long was the bed leaking before I even realized? I glance at Bella and her entire front is soaked , her shirt is clinging to her chest, the tips of her hair are damp and she's still panting. Fuck. I slyly adjust myself.

"Y-you're so wet," I say to break the silence but I realize two seconds later that that sounded inappropriate.

"What?" she asks a bit nervously and then she looks down at her clothes then back at me. "Oh. Yea, yea I'm wet." And somehow, the minimal twitch of her brow tells me that there's a double meaning behind her words. I turned her on. Score. "Look, Edward, I'm sorry. That…on the bed, that shouldn't have happened. It was stupid of me to get involved with a client. I…it won't happen again," she finishes. It won't?

"Why not? I enjoyed it. Wait, have you been with a client before?" I ask nervously.

She looks at me, stuffing her hands in her back pockets. "Jacob was a client…among other things. Look, it doesn't matter, it can't happen, okay? Dating someone who's paid to be with you is just insensible. It just leads to hard, rough and unnecessary drama and shit that I don't want to deal with and I'm sure you don't either."

"But I like it hard! I mean…rough! I mean…fuck," I sigh. Why the hell can't I say anything to her without sounding like a horny idiot?

"Edward, no. Look, I think you should go. We're finished for today," she says, eyes glued to the floor. She won't even look at me? Fine. I should just let it go.

"Okay," I say, unable to keep the sadness from my voice. I take her envelope of money from my pocket and offer it out to her and suddenly I feel like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman giving Vivian her final pay. Is this the final pay?

Bella looks up at the envelope and shakes her head. "Keep it." She walks to the door, opening it. "Goodbye, Edward."

I stand in place for a moment, opening my mouth to speak. But I have nothing to say. So, I walk out into the hallway and turn to her, still picking my brain for something to say. Nothing but—

"Goodbye, Bella." And before I can even attempt to try and wave or something—the door closes in my face.

BPOV

I touch my lips. They're swollen.

From kisses.

From Edward Anthony Masen Cullen kisses.

I kissed him. Almost fucked him. And told him my full fucking name. Which I never do. What the fuck am I doing with this guy?

I slide down to the floor, back against the door, groaning in frustration at myself.

I'm wet. In both ways. All over. Because I almost touched Edward's…thing.

I shouldn't have sent him out of here wet. He'll get sick. Why'd I kick him out? It's my fault for not having a shred of self control.

But he's so…Edward. I can't stop myself. Fuck, and the way I kept touching his hair. I just couldn't not touch it. It looked so soft and…fuck. What's wrong with me?

I can't do this. It's ever been like this before. I can't…

I have to let him go. Before one of us gets in too deep. I have to end this.

I have to end this with him. It's over.

**Awwwwww you're all 'oh no!' right? Right? Meh, I know, it's over before it really begun. Sorry for the chockablock but come on, they hardly know each other!**

**I appreciate the reviews and….I don't have much to say since it's almost midnight and I've had to pee for about 20 minutes but I held it in to finish this chapter! Woo, I'm a trooper! Kay, so I won't babble cause I really gotta peeee. HA! Bye you guys, you're rock! Until next time!**

**P.S. If you didn't get the Pretty Woman reference then you're either too young or terribly deprived. Check it out!**

** ~LazyMasochist**


	3. If It Makes You Happy

**A/N: So, I recently got my first fan letter…that was pretty rad. I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself right now so I thought I'd throw out this little chapter for you. **

**The response to this story has shocked me a lot! Especially since there are only two chapters but the favorites and alerts on this story have surpassed those of my other fic "Bella, Isabella" and I never imagined that would happen because people seem to love 'Bella, Isabella'…what I'm trying to say is THANK YOU! You guys continue to amaze me! So…thanks for that…I love you all…in the non creepy way!**

**Ima shut up and just yea…REVIEW!**

**Chapter Song: If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow(who I until five seconds ago had no idea sang this song)**

**If it makes you happy**

**It can't be that bad**

**If it makes you happy**

**Why the hell are you so sad?**

**EPOV**

After changing from my wet clothes, I flopped myself down on my bed and thought about how I made such a mess of things with Bella today. I shouldn't have been so stupid. Marching in there with intents to try and claim her.

What'd I plan on doing? Dating her? Sleeping with her? That'd be like prostitution. I'd be paying her while I dated or slept with her. That'd be sick.

I'm stupid. I'm so fucking stupid. I smack myself in the forehead with the back of my hand a few times. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What if she thought of it that way too and thinks that I think of her as some sort of slut or something? Oh, God. Why am I so stupid?

"Yo, baby bro!" Emmett poked his head in my room carrying a tray of ribs All for himself of course. "I stopped by the barbecue place and got some food. There are some wings out here if you want 'em?" He picked up a rib as he spoke and shoved it in his mouth. "Wafs wong?" he said, mouth full of food.

"Nothing's wrong, Emmett, just leave me alone, okay?" Gosh, I sound like a sulky teenager.

"Nah, man," he walked into my room, sitting down at the edge of my bed, stuffing more food in his mouth. "Tell me."

I sighed. He wouldn't relent. He was nothing if not a good brother. "It's Bella," I admitted.

His eyebrows raised and he swallowed everything in his mouth, putting the plate down. Fuck, he's put the food down, he was going to make this moment serious. "The Take Home girl? What happened?" He licked the sauce from his fingers.

I shrugged and sat up, clutching a pillow to my chest. "I don't know…I met with her yesterday. At a hotel."

"Whoa, whoa, what?" he exclaimed. "A hotel? You got laid?" he almost sounded excited.

"No, I didn't." Then I went into a long ass explanation of how I royally fucked things up with her. He cracked up laughing when I mentioned the 'You're so wet' bit but overall, I was sorta surprised by how attentive he was.

"Man, you need to call her," he said when I'd finished. "Let her know you don't think of her as some cheap floozy." Did he really just say 'floozy'? But at least I had a reason to hear her voice again.

"Ok, I'll call. Thanks, Em. For listening." I gave a small smile, trying to keep from making this all cheesy and awkward.

"No prob, baby bro. But another thing…" he started.

"Yea?" I asked, wishing he'd leave so I could call her already.

"You gotta stop with the feelings and shit. You did this to get mom and dad off your back. That's it. You throw feelings into this already fucked up situation and it just makes it worse. I can see you're into her, I mean you practically sucked her face off the other day but it'll only fuck this all up."

"But she likes me too, I think-"

"So what? If you really like this girl then you'll suck it up and let her do what you're paying her to do and nothing else." Maybe he was right. I mean she was what?—my employee? My hired girlfriend? I was paying her to help me out, I was paying her to stand around while I ogled and groped her. I should just leave her alone. I hung my head. "Look," he continued, "it's what's best for the both of you. Before things get too deep. She's hired, Edward. Look, man, you can do whatever you want to do but I'm just advising you man. You said she just broke up with Jacob who was a client of hers too, are you trying to be his replacement? The rebound? Just…listen to me? Alright?" I nodded, mute, and he clapped me on the back before gathering his plate again. "So…the wings I bought…are you gonna eat them?"

**BPOV**

"Really, Bella, he was so adorable and so scared! I think me and Rose scared the shit out of him! He was like visibly shaking," Alice laughed.

I nodded and smiled at her enthusiasm. "No wonder he was so shaky when he got to the room."

"Speaking of the room," Rose added, raising a perfect brow at me. "Want to explain why you came here drenched?" she investigated and Alice leaned closer. No doubt she'd been wanting to ask the same thing.

I rolled my eyes at them and looked away, focusing on the swirly designs of the ceiling. We were, as always, sitting around the big oval table in the kitchen, discussing our latest clients. It was sort of tradition.

"Bella! Come on, you gotta tell us! We're in the oval sanctum!" Alice exclaimed.

I sighed. "I almost fucked Edward today." When there weren't immediate squeals, I looked up. Fish faces. "Could you guys close your mouths before you catch a fly? I said _almost_."

"Exactly what does 'almost' mean? Did you touch the hair?" Alice yelled, digging her nails into my arm as she gripped it excitedly. I nodded.

"And the eyes…what do they look like when he's turned on? Do they darken? What color?" Rosalie inquired, her feet tapping noisily under the table.

"They're like…mossy green," I said, thinking back and biting my lip. He looked so sexy, watching me with those wide, green eyes. If the fucking bed hadn't started leaking, I could've….fuck, don't think about it, Bella.

"And the kissing?" Both Alice and Rosalie asked simultaneously.

"The best I've ever had," I admitted to them and was rewarded with twin squeals.

"You're so fucking lucky, Bella! I got stuck with this country hick named Jimmy or…Jason or…something with a J. All he wants to do is line dance all the time." She grimaced. While I was usually a Take Home, Alice was predominantly an Outer…which was basically a better term for an escort. She just went on dates with people when ever they needed a date to an event or something. "He's booked me for the entire week. I'm going to kill someone if I hear _Cotton Eyed Joe_ one more time!"

I smacked her arm. "I like that song! Don't knock cotton eyed Joe," I grinned.

"Yea, well I got stuck with some creep named Mike Newton. I mean what the fuck kind of name is that?" Rosalie scoffed. "He spends our whole session staring at my tits like they're the fucking last tits on Earth."

"You should be used to the staring by now, Rose," I said. She usually just brushed it off or slapped the guy.

"Oh, I'm used to the staring it's the touching that has to stop. He…rubs himself like right the fuck in front of me."

"What the fuck?" I yelled.

"Yea! I guess he thinks I don't notice but when a guys hand goes under the table and doesn't come back up for twenty minutes and you feel the fucking table cloth moving, it's a dead fucking give away. And the way he talks…like a 60's greaser, ugh it just fucking irks me. And the fucker wonders why he can't get any girls. Thankfully, tomorrow's my last day with him." Rosalie pretty much does every job there is. Take Home…Outer…whatever. But with this guy she's an Advisor, which basically means she tells guys why they fucking suck and how they can improve themselves. The easiest fucking job there is here because all you have to do is tell them why they suck.

"But back to Bella," Alice interjected, "why did you only 'almost' fuck Mr. Sex Pants? Why aren't you thoroughly fucked? Why didn't you ride the disco stick? Why didn't you two do the humpty dumpty? Get down and dirty-"

"Alice, how many more do you have?" I asked. What the hell did this girl do all day? Google sex slang?

"Terms for the dirty deed? Oh, millions. But anyway, do tell."

I sighed, it was Alice so there was no use in arguing with her. I told her and Rose the whole story, from the awkward hotel room explanation to the awkward 'I'm so wet' fiasco. Of course, laughter spawned from Edward's awkward exclamation.

"So, Bella, I mean as your friend, I feel it's my duty to inform you that you're royally fucked," Alice said as soon as I was finished.

I leaned forward, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You're totally into him!"

"Alice, I'm n-"

"You were grinning throughout the whole story, you blushed five times, gazed at the fucking ceiling for six minutes straight and now you're biting you lip! You're nervous, you're jittery and you're smiling more than a monkey in a banana store!"

Fuck, was I? "I…fuck. I like him, okay? He's amazing; he's funny and adorable and awkward as hell but it's so fucking endearing and he's fucking hot!" I yelled. "But he's also my client. And I just got out of a relationship. I don't want him to feel like a rebound."

"Bella, you're into this guy! Really into him, I can see it," Rosalie started, "Just explain to him that's he's not a rebound and do something about this crush. Come on, you haven't been very happy in months. Jacob fucking sucked, this guy seems like a catch, are you really gonna pass him up?"

I bit my lip, thinking. I mean…Edward liked me. Or at least his dick did…I should just tell him how I feel and let things go on from there. If he says no then whatever, we'll just be friends and I'll finished this assignment like I'm supposed to. Yea. "Okay, I'll do it. I'll tell him how I feel," I decided. Alice and Rosalie both grinned before enveloping me in a tight hug.

"Ugh, get off me, bitches," I groaned playfully. I love these bimbos.

**EPOV**

I paced back and forth in my room, mumbling to myself, trying to practice what I was going to say to Bella when I finally called her. There was nothing I could say that wouldn't be a total lie. _I'm sorry for __almost having sex with you today, it won't happen again. _or_ I can forget that you taste like strawberries_ _if you can?_ Everything just made me further sound like an idiot.

But I had to do this. Because if I didn't then there would be nothing but uncomfortably for her, I wanted her to feel comfortable with me and not worry every second that I was ogling her and trying to get into her pants. Man up, Edward, you have to do this. For her.

Right, just do it. I jumped around my room, like a boxer before a big fight. Getcha head in the game, dude! You got this!

What the fuck am I doing? No wonder I don't have a girlfriend. I'm a dork. I sighed and walked over to the bed, picking up my phone and dialing the number to the 'business' or whatever. Every ring made my heart thump faster. I still had no idea to say this to her. Just get it over with, I chanted in my head.

Finally someone picked up the phone. "Hello?" they asked. It was the same high pitched voice that'd answered the first time I called, before I met Bella. I think her name was Ally or something. But I've heard her voice somewhere else before too… "Hellooooo?" she asked again. "Anybody there?"

Oh. I cleared my throat before speaking. "Um…hi. I was calling to-"

"Edward?" the asked excitedly.

I swallowed hard. "Yea…how'd you know?"

She scoffed. "Well 'um…hi' was how you greeted me the last time we spoke on the phone. Plus, I remember your voice. I'm Alice, remember? We met on the elevator today," she giggled at the last part.

Oh! That's right! The girl who liked my hair. "Oh, right, yea. Hi. So…I…um…I was actually calling for Bella," I spit out.

"Oh, of course you were, just-"

"Alice, who's that?" a woman's voice asked from what seemed like right next to her. Alice whispered my name and then all I heard was shuffling and a series of grunts and squeals.

"Rose, you bitch!" I heard Alice yell in the background.

"Go get Bella, pixie!" a new voice said into the receiver. "Hello, Edward. I'm Rosalie, the girl who loves your eyes, I'm sure you remember me." Did Bella know every girl in the world or something?

"Hey…" was all I could manage.

"I just wanted to know…are those contacts or are-"

"Rose, shoo!" Bella, thank God. I heard the girl huff as Bella snatched the phone. "Hi, Edward, I'm sorry about them. They're fucking psychos."

"I-It's fine." Where are my words? _Where are my words?_ I took in a deep breath. Just do it.

"Look, Bella-"

"So, Edward-"

We both started at the same time and each of us let out a breathy laugh. "You can go first," I said.

"No, it's fine. You go on," she insisted. I was afraid she'd say that. With another deep breath, I started speaking.

"Look, Bella, about today. I just wanted to apologize for…everything that happened. I shouldn't have…came on to you like that. It was unprofessional and ignorant of me to try and…you know…with you. I don't want you to feel like I'm using you and I don't want to try and take Jacob's place. I…" I swallowed before spewing out the biggest lie ever. "I don't think of you like that now, you know? I just…it was a moment of weakness. You're a gorgeous girl and you're wonderful but, for obvious reasons, we wouldn't—we can't work out. And I realize that now so…yea, I hope things won't be weird…because I think we could be great…friends." God, that word killed me. "You won't have to worry about me doing anything like that again, I'm so sorry if I made things weird between us. It won't happen ever again." I finished, squeezing my eyes together tight. So many lies. Bella was silent on the other end of the line. "Bella?"

She cleared her throat loudly. "No, yea! I totally get it! I understand, zero weirdness between us. It's totally fine, I get it. We all have those moments!" She seemed hyped up, her words rushing out fast and frantically. "It was kinda my fault too so…just forget it ever happened okay?"

I nodded to myself. "Okay."

"Yea, so are we good here? I…Alice is calling me. So…"

"Yea, yea, we're…we're good." Stop her, Edward. Tell her how you feel. But she sounds so happy.

"Good. Um…I'll see you tomorrow! Bye, Edward." The line went dead.

"Bye, Bella," I whispered into the phone.

I've done it. I've eliminated the tension from mine and Bella's relationship. She's happy. Why do I feel so sad?

**BPOV**

I couldn't hold them in anymore and they started running down my cheeks. The hot, wet bastards. The tears, I mean. I sank down onto the kitchen floor, still clutching the phone in my hand. I'm such an idiot. I'm seconds away from telling a guy who wants nothing to do with me romantically that I want him. I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I was pompous enough to assume he liked me. Why would he like me? I haven't given him reason to!

I cried all over him before I'd even known him for an hour, I introduced myself to him as a girl with a cheating boyfriend, and then said boyfriend proceeded to try and beat him up, my best friends openly stalked him and I sent him home wet after going all psycho on him after I attacked him. I'm a fucking soap opera on legs! I wept into my hands. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb, Bella.

"Bella?" Oh, Alice. "Oh em gee! Rose, come here! Bella's crying!" she yelled and I peeked through my fingers and watched her rush around the kitchen gathering things before running to me, kneeling down.

"What's wrong, Bellsy? Did he reject you?" she rubbed my hair.

I shook my head and hiccupped, the tears catching in my throat. My voice was thick when I spoke. "I didn't even get the chance to tell him."

Rose walked in, her beautiful face contorted with worry. In one hand she had a box of tissues, in the other were three spoons. She walked over and squatted by Alice, taking a jar of Nutella from her and scooping some onto each spoon. "What happened?" she asked, passing me a spoon. Supposedly, Nutella fixed everything.

"He turned me down before I even offered myself," I sniffed, "he said that what happened today was a moment of weakness and that he thinks we could be great friends," I sobbed, stuffing the spoon into my mouth to quiet my patheticness. Alice patted my back. "I feel like such a dumb ass! Here I am jumping up and fucking down to get to the phone—to get to him and all he does is turn me down. How pathetic can I get? Why would he want a mess like me? I'm so stupid for thinking he would! Ugh, I'm so fucking stupid!" I stuffed more Nutella in my mouth.

"Bella, you're not stupid. And there must be more to the story," Rose said. "Why would he just turn you down like that when he was so obviously into you from everything you've told us?"

"I just told you! I'm a mess!"

"Look, Bella, this isn't going to be a pity party. Do you want this guy?" Alice asked suddenly.

"You know I do…or did…" Where was she going with this?

She jumped to her feet. "Then you're going to get him! Get off your ass! We do not quit! We fight for things we want!" She stomped out of the kitchen, yelling back at us, "It's time to plot, my little monkeys! Meet me in my room!"

Rose and I exchanged a look. Hers clearly said 'That girl is insane in the brain' while my look responded with a 'Oh, I know'. But, as said before, there was no use fighting against the force of Alice. So, upstairs we went.

**The phrase 'insane in the brain' belongs to my dear significant other who first alerted me to the adorable phrase. INSANE IN THE BRAIN! **

**It's fun to say…sue me…**

**There was something I wanted to say and now I can't remember…fuck…well this sucks. **

**Anywho…the song Cotton Eyed Joe which was mentioned in this chapter is admittedly a song that captured my heart…it's about as country of a song as it gets and repetitive as fuck but I love it! So go check out Cotton Eyed Joe by the Rednex**

**Oh! I remembered what I wanted to say! I have NEVER had Nutella in my life…or even been in the same room with it…I don't even really know what it is…is it peanut butter? Who knows? Anywho, apparently people are OBSESSED with it so…yea. That was random…**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I've had such a permanent smile etched on my face from the reviews and stuff I've gotten! Keep em coming? Yah? Yah. **

**Oh and Jasper is the country cowboy Alice currently dislike right now in case you were wondering…but she'll come around…don't you worry, ya hear?**


	4. One Way or Another

**A/N: Started on July 19th . Let's see when this baby actually gets out though, shall we? Twilight isn't mine, but every night at 11:11, I wish it were. Just kidding…or not.**

**BTW, you should probably read the note at the end of the chap….k**

**Chapter Song: One Way or Another by Blondie**

**I will drive past your house **

**And if the lights are all out**

**I'll see who's around….**

**One way or another **

**EPOV**

"Remember what I said, bro! Hands off. No groping, no sex eyes, no lip licking, no crotch grabbing, no dry humping, no-"

"I get it, Emmett. I get it.," I fanned my hand at him as I put on my seeing glasses. They were my protection, sort of. They were thick and brown and completely unattractive but whenever I had them on, I was way more focused. I needed to be focused on the task at hand with Bella. Focused on letting her do what I was paying her for. Helping me. I sighed at my reflection as I pushed my hair back from my face.

"Hey, Ed, can I get a ride?" Emmett asked, flopping himself down on my bed, making it creak. He had two pieces of toast in one hand and was chewing the remnants of a piece before as he spoke.

"Where to?" I pulled a light blue shirt on over my t-shirt. I figured it matched my beige khaki's well enough.

"The park."

"The park? Why do you need to go there?" I asked as I put on my brown, leather watch. It was as cheap of a watch as it gets, but I figured a watch is a watch, no matter how it looks.

"I'm meeting a girl from the company there. I got myself an Escort," a slow grin took over his face and crumbs from his lips fell to his shirt. The company? Meaning Bella's company. Hmm.

"Sure, I guess I could take you." I shrugged. The 'company' was getting plenty of business from us Cullen men lately.

"Groovy." He sat up and rubbed his hands together, crumbling falling onto my carpet. I sighed. I'll have to clean that up. The last thing I want in here are bugs. "I'll be ready in ten," Emmett announced as he left the room. I glared after him before reaching into my closet for my mini Hoover vacuum.

=TTH=

After dropping Emmett off, I found myself making my way to the hotel again. I was just pulling up outside of the hotel when my phone beeped. Parking, I checked my messages. **Message From: Bella.** I opened it.

**Hey, I hope I caught you time. No hotel today. Meet me at 2113 Samson Drive? xBella**

My palms started sweating almost immediately because firstly **2113 Samson Drive** is, without a doubt, a home address. Meaning Bella wants me to come to her house! Secondly, she sent me an 'x' which is a kiss, right? In terms of X's and O's she sent me an X! She sent me a kiss! I pulled away from the hotel with the goofiest of grins on my face.

_Remember what I said, bro! Hands off._ Fuck. I have to remember what Emmett said. Just like that, my smile was gone.

**BPOV**

"Okay, I got it. I know the plan. We've gone over it a million times. Look, he'll be here any minute, I gotta go!" I hung up on Alice and Rosalie as they were both mid sentence. Alice had designed what she called a 'fool proof" plan to help me get Edward. Step One was to 'lure' him to my home. I'd sent the text twenty minutes ago and was expecting him shortly.

I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't nervous. I was setting myself up for so much possible rejection. But I wanted this guy, so I figure it's worth a try. If Alice's plan doesn't work, and Edward and I aren't confessing our feelings at the end of this meeting then I…I don't know. I don't know if I can give up on him so easily.

The doorbell rang—several times, actually—making me jump. I could see his frazzled hair through the glass at the top of the door and just that made me smile. Adjusting my super snug blue shirt and tight-as-hell-jeans, I slowly opened the door.

"Hello, Edward," I greeted, grinning at him. He waved awkwardly. Oh, fuck me, he's wearing glasses. And only this man can make khaki pants look good. My God… "Uh…come in." I stepped aside and he nodded to me before walking in, looking around. I'd cleaned up the place, thankfully. And by clean up I mean I polished the hardwood floors several times, vacuumed every carpet in the house, washed the windows, fluffed the couch pillows and washed every dish in my sink. Crazy? Yes. Unnoticed? No.

"Wow, your place is very clean," Edward noted and I did a little happy dance. He noticed.

"Thanks. You can have a seat on the couch, I'll just go get us something to drink. Is lemonade alright?" I lead him to the couch, smiling when I looked over my shoulder to find his eyes on my butt. Yes! It's working.

He cleared his throat. "Uh…um…lemonade is fine."

I nodded before retrieving the lemonade and making my way back to him. When I returned he was on the couch, mumbling to himself and rubbing his hands up and down his legs as if drying them. He's just too cute. I sat the lemonade on the table in front of him, startling him. I sat down next to him and smiled. "You alright in here?" I asked, rubbing his arm, soothingly. His eyes followed my hand and he swallowed hard.

"Y-yes. I'm f-fine," he stuttered. I held back a smirk.

"You know, these glasses look really good on you," I commented, reaching over to touch them, making sure my breasts rubbed against his arm. His eyes widened, the glasses fogging a bit.

"Bella…." he whispered.

"Yes, Edward?" This was the moment. He was going to admit that he had feelings for me. That he wanted me too.

"I…" he struggled to say his next words. Oh, spit it out, you beautiful bastard!

"Yes?" I said again, willing him with my eyes to just spit it out.

"," he rushed out quickly at the same time that I stupidly yelled out—

"Yes!"

Then I froze. He wants to meet with his parents _tomorrow_? "But…it hasn't been a week. It hasn't even been half a week." Even to my own ears, I sounded pathetic and wounded. Why would he want to meet with them so soon?

"Yes, I…I know. Just, I…I uh…I don't have enough money in my account to pay you out for the whole week," he stammered, looking at the glasses of lemonade as he spoke.

Oh, was that all? "Edward, if…if you want to write me an IOU or even just forget about the money altogether, that'd be fine. It's okay with me." I didn't even care about the money anymore. I just wanted more time with Edward.

"No!" he yelled, making me jump back in surprise. "I mean…I wouldn't feel right. We'll just meet with my folks tomorrow and then it'll be over," he whispered, his eyes finding mine on the last word. _And then it'll be over. _

I didn't know whether to cry or kick him out. This whole thing was such a messed up emotional roller coaster. "If that's what you want, Edward. It's your _money_." I spat the word money like it was a bad word.

He nodded. "I think…it ends tomorrow." His voice was slow…sure. And I decided then that I was mad at him.

"It ends tomorrow," I agreed. I sat back on the couch and dove into doing my job. What I was _paid_ for. "Okay, so, today I was planning on just relaxing so we could become more comfortable around each other and appear more natural, but, due to the fact, that you want this to be over tomorrow, we'll spend today reviewing the things we've learned. Okay?" He opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly before nodding. "Good." I angled my body towards his and for the next twenty minutes, we reviewed the things we went over at the hotel yesterday. I was surprised to find that Edward remembered everything I'd told him about me.

I was trying to take the easy road here a bit. I figured if we reviewed what we'd learned yesterday then we could end this meeting—and us—quickly with a clean break. But sitting here, listening to Edward recite my full name with his soft voice and having him gingerly touching and holding my hand like we'd been together for years, it only taunted me with what I knew now I'd never be able to have. And by the end of everything, I was tired and weary. So close to bursting into tears. So close to yelling at him and smashing things. So close to breaking down.

"September 13, 19-"

His phone rang loudly in his pocket. "I'm sorry…" he trailed off, taking his phone out. The chorus of 'Soft' by Kings of Leon echoed throughout the room. He likes KoL? God, please… "Hello?…Yes, I am…No, I didn't," he seemed angry as he gave his last answer. "You're pussy!" he yelled before blushing and glancing at me apologetically for his outburst. I smiled because he was so damn cute. Ugh. "I will be…Okay. What do you want for dinner?…Okay. Bye. Yea, yea, love you too." My eyebrows raised on their own accord. He loves someone? I kept my face impassive. So that was it? He had someone already. He ended the call and looked back at me. "I'm sorry, I have to get going. I'll send you the details for the meeting tomorrow…okay?" I nodded, not knowing what to say. Or if I could speak without crying. He stood, hovering over me, his mouth hanging open as he tried to think of something to say. "Uh…bye."

"Bye," I whispered to him. I watched as he turned on his heel and rushed from my house and home to whoever he said he loved.

=TTH=

"Bella, this is nothing, we'll just start on a phase two," Alice insisted, following me up the stairs with Rosalie close behind. I'd just finished telling them the details of my disastrous afternoon.

"No," I responded.

"No? What do you mean no?" she asked baffled.

I turned to her quickly. "I mean no! No more phases or steps or stupid plans! I can't do it anymore! I won't keep chasing after a man who clearly doesn't want me! If we were meant to be then there wouldn't be all this shit in the way! I quit! I give up." I stomped up the stairs and rushed into my room, slamming the door behind me. I fucking have the worst luck with guys. _I should just become a lesbian_, I thought.

**APOV**

"Alice, Bella will be pissed if she finds out we're doing this," Rose whispered to me in the darkness as we climbed up the fire escape leading to Edward's apartment.

"Which is why we're not going to tell her. Duh," I rolled my eyes though she couldn't see. If this Edward guy was seeing someone else, it was our duties as Bella's best friends to at least make sure the girl was butt-ugly or something.

"I don't know why I agreed to do this with you," she added as we landed on his level. We scaled the brick wall near the closed window that belonged to Edward's apartment.

"Because you know I'm doing the right thing here."

"No. I doubt Edward would call a girl a pussy, Alice," she said, referring to what Bella'd told us Edward said on the phone.

"Ah but did he mean 'you're pussy' or 'your pussy'?" I asked cleverly, leaving Rose speechless. "Exactly. Plus, he said 'I love you' to the bimbo. That defo means they're dating."

"Oh, Alice, you're one of a kind."

"I know." I crouched down and crept to the other side of the window. "We look in on three. Okay?" I saw Rosalie's blonde hair shake as she nodded. "One, two…three." We both peeked in at the same time to see Edward eating dinner—pizza—with a big guy on the couch. They were laughing as the big one scarfed down his food.

"Emmett?" Rose squeaked. "That's Emmett, my Escort guy." she moved closer, half her face lit by the light from the apartment. "He said he lived with his brother. I guess that's Edward."

I gaped. "_That's_ shit eating grin guy? He's huge!"

"He's sweet," Rose grinned, staring at him. "I...I mean, he's…ugh, whatever, he's hot." I giggled. "So, anyway, there's your proof, Alice. The mystery 'girl' is a guy—his brother."

"Wait till we tell Bella!" I said excitedly as I started to climb back down the escape.

"No, Alice. I think we should just leave her alone right now. Give her some time. She's had a rough time with guys. I think we should back off."

"But-"

"But nothing, Alice. If it's meant to be then they'll get together by themselves. Without our help." I hate it when she's right.

**A/N: So, firstly, I'm thinking of making this a SHORT STORY. These kids should wrap up their shenanigans in about 6 or 7 more chapters. I'm considering re-opening the story for a full length version when I have more time because having three works in progress isn't as easy as I thought it'd be. That's why this chapter is so short…**

**Please REVIEW guys. Reviews are my Red Bulls, they give me energy. Don't forget to check out my other two stories as well. Next update will be for "Taken" which was formerly known as "Text Me". I changed the title and summary so it'd appeal to more people…**

**PS: Who's excited for Comic Con tmrw? Woooo! Tell me in a review!**


	5. Milk

**A/N: I'm breaking my usual update schedule because the response to the last chapter was bonkers so you should all thank yourselves for this update. **

**I've been thinking about this chapter—the dinner/meeting—for quite a while and I got a few ideas while writing the last chapter as well so…this crazy couple might be learning the truth about things pretty soon…**

**EPOV**

I unlocked the doors of my car as I pulled up in front of her house. She was sitting on the steps with her chin in her hands when I arrived. I quickly hopped out to open the passenger side door as she walked towards me, looking beautiful. She was wearing a dark blue dress that had a flowing skirt and stopped mid-thigh. It was tight around her waist and had a v-neck that gave the slightest glimpse of her beautiful, pale bre—

"Hey, Edward," Bella smiled, looking up at me. She was gorgeous. She had on a little bit of makeup, some eye shadow that was a lighter shade of blue than her dress and her lips were a bit pinker than usual. And her hair was down in loose, messy waves. She was beautiful. "Um…thanks," she said. Did I call her beautiful out loud? Crap.

"Um…you're welcome," I mumbled, gesturing to my car and breaking my stare. "Your chariot awaits," I said lamely, stepping back so she could get in. She slid in, smiling at me as I closed the door. "Get yourself together, Edward," I advised as I walked around to the driver's side. Bella was fiddling with the radio when I got it.

"Do you mind? I'm sorry," she pulled her hand away, biting her lip like a child who's been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I couldn't help but smile.

"It's fine. Find something good," I smiled before pulling away from the curb. I need to shut my mouth. _Your chariot awaits? Find something good?_ Verbal diarrhea. I mentally thumped myself in the head while Bella continued her fiddling. I watched peripherally as she geared up the CD player, deciding to just play whatever I'd been listening to previously. Of course it'd been Kings of Leon. She probably wouldn't like them. Soon the opening sounds of Slow Night, So Long started playing and I cringed, waiting for her reaction.

"Is this the Aha Shake Heartbreak album?" she asked excitedly. I gaped at the road.

"Uh...yea…you know it?" I asked. If she said yes, I was going to have a mini heart attack. She couldn't possibly be so perfect.

"Yes! It's my favorite by them!" Heart attack. She pressed a button and skipped to the next track. King of the Rodeo started to play. "This is my favorite song from the album." She tapped the beat with her fingers on her bare leg as if played.

I swallowed. She's so perfect. I should say something to fill the silence. "Straight in the picture pose, he's coming 'round to meet you," I sang. Apparently, my way of filling the silence is badly singing along to the song. As I pulled up to a red light, I chanced a glance in Bella's direction. She was just grinning at me, looking humored. Finally she opened her mouth to speak.

"Me and you cold driving in the snow, let the good times roll, let the good times roll," she sang back to me in an equally bad impersonation of the singer. This girl is amazing. Should I sing back? I should.

"Cowgirl king of the rodeo let the good times roll, let the good times roll," we sang together. We shared a grin before continuing the song together. By the time the next verse was finished we were both screaming the song at the top of out lungs. And I'd never felt more comfortable.

**=TTH=**

We were screaming along to Four Kicks for the second time when I pulled into my parent's driveway. I turned the car off and Bella and I just sat there yelling until the song ended. When it finally did, we were both panting and grinning like crazy. Then it sunk in that we'd spent the past half hour belting out songs all over the town.

"That was fun," she offered breathless, still grinning. I nodded.

"Yea, it was pretty awesome." She nodded this time and we stared a while longer until she blinked and whipped her head to face the house.

"We should probably go in. It's almost 6:30." She unbuckled her seatbelt and checked her hair in the mirror before putting on what looked like chapstick.

"Is that chapstick?" I asked, with a laugh. She nodded and smiled shyly.

"Yea. I can't stand lipstick, it's messy."

"Right. Yea." I couldn't say much else, Bella was so different and unique. Nothing like most other girls. But I couldn't have her. Great. "Yea, they're expecting us now, we'd better go," I quickly hopped out and made my way over to open Bella's door. She smiled graciously as she slid out.

"Thank you." I shook my head to say it was nothing and I rested my hand on the small of her back as we silently made our way to the front of the house. "Are you ready for this, Edward?" she asked as we walked up the cobblestone path that led to the door. I exhaled loudly.

"I don't know…I mean, I guess so-" I ran a hand through my hair, gripping the ends. I was beyond nervous that I was going to screw this thing up somehow.

"Hey," Bella soothed as she gripped my forearm gently. "No worries, okay? It'll be fine. Stop worrying or you'll go bald," she joked, pulling my hand away from my hair. I sighed and looked at her, the calmness in her brown eyes, assuring me. I sighed and nodded, offering her a small smile to let her know I'd be okay. "Good," she replied as she took my hand in hers before ringing the doorbell.

Almost immediately the door flew open and my parents stood before us with equally creepy grins. My mother had on a dark pink dress and a string of pearls and her red hair was in a smoothed back ponytail. My father sported a sweater vest identical to my blue one but instead of jeans like me, he wore a pair of grey dress pants. "Welcome to our home," my parents greeted at the same time. This was beyond creepy, even for them.

"Please," my mother spoke, "come in." Stepping into my father's side she gestured with her arm for us to enter. With identical 'what the fuck' looks, Bella and I stepped into my childhood home. Things seemed to be exactly the same. The floors were the same russet colored wood, the walls were still the same smoky orange and the furniture was still the same pale green I'd come to love in my childhood. It all still gave off the same 70's disco vibe that it did when I was a kid. I smiled as I remembered running around this house with Emmett.

Bella and I followed my parents to the living room. "Please, sit down. I'll just go and get some tea for us to have while dinner finishes cooking. Uh…uhm…Carlisle, come help me look at the uh…thing," she said before yanking my confused father from the room and into the direction of the kitchen.

I breathed a laugh and Bella soon joined in, chuckling. "Your parent's are…"

"Weird?" I questioned, grinning when she nodded. "They're being weirder than usual tonight. I'm pretty sure they're in the kitchen celebrating the fact that you're real," I admitted, a bit bashfully. It was pretty terrible that my parents couldn't believe I'd found someone. She sniffed the air.

"Dinner smells good," she complimented. "I'm starving. Not to mention, I'm super thirsty from our jam session in the car," she beamed at me. "That was the most fun I've had in a while."

I'm sure my answering grin was frighteningly wide. "It was for me too. Although, I don't think I did the song justice."

"Pfft, like _I_ did either," she laughed just as my parents shuffled back into the room; my mother carries a tray with a kettle and four tea cups.

"Looks like you two are having fun out here," my father commented, running a hand through his blond hair. Bella looked back and forth between us two and I nodded in understanding. It was a common occurrence to be told that I was almost identical to my father.

"Yes, Edward and I were just talking about the car ride over," Bella explained, putting her hand on my knee and squeezing. And so the act begins.

"Oh, how lovely. Well, Bella, is it?"

"Isabella but yes, feel free to call me Bella."

"Okay, _Bella_, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little surprised when Edward called and told us he was bringing a girl over. He's never brought anyone home, I suspect you must be quite important to him," my mother winked, yes_ winked_, at Bella.

"Oh, um…" Bella glanced at me with a slight blush and I couldn't tell whether she was just a really good actress or whether it was a real blush. "Well, I don't know about that but Edward is pretty special to me,' she smiled at me fondly then looked back to my mother who looked on the verge of tears. Really, mom, really? "Do you mind?" Bella asked, motioning to the tea.

"Oh, please have some. Edward? Would you like some tea?" she started to pour some into each cup.

"Yes, mom, I'll have one."

We fell into an awkward silence as everyone sipped their tea. Everyone was peeking over their cups at one another, waiting for someone to speak. It was my father that broke the silence.

"So, how'd you kids meet?" As soon as the question was from his mouth, Bella choked on her tea. As I patted her in the back, we shared a meaningful look. We never discussed how we'd say we met. I guess that was one of the things we were supposed to cover that day at the hotel that we never got around to… "Are you alright there, Bella?" my father inquired, offering her a napkin. Dabbing her mouth with the proffered napkin, she nodded and looked to me.

"Uh…" I cleared my throat and said the first thing that came to mind. "Kings of Leon." His brows furrowed as did my mothers.

"That band you used to obsessed about?" he called.

"He still does," Bella chimed in. "Edward and I met at one of their concerts. Our seats were right next to each other and he kept stealing my arm rest so I turned to him to give him a piece of my mind and…the rest is history," she adlibbed impressively. Taking another sip of tea, she winked at me coyly.

"What a lucky coincidence! Edward's been in love with that band for years. He just loves his Queens of Lion," she mother said with a laugh.

"Mom, it's Kings of Leon, actually," I corrected, holding back a laugh. Fanning a hand at me, she mumbled a quick 'whatever' to which we all laughed. Things were going great. This might actually work.

**=TTH=**

"And Edward ran around the yard naked and screaming, it was hilarious!" my mother howled with laughter as she told the story and pointed to the picture in the album on Bella's lap. She'd been showing Bella pictures of me in my childhood for at least the last hour and Bella was loving it. The two ladies were seated on the couch opposite us while my father and I looked at our 'women' with amused faces, sparing quick glances at each other. I was ridiculously embarrassed that my normally chill parents felt the need to up the ante and pull out the typical photo album.

I chugged down the remnants of the water in my glass, dimming the taste of chicken and wild rice that'd been left in my mouth from dinner and I patted my happy and full stomach, taking in the scene before me. Bella brushed intruding hair from her face as she smiled at my mother and the pictures. My mother whispered something to her and she threw her head back laughing, comfortable. I couldn't help but grin.

"You two are pretty serious, huh?" my father's voice interrupted as he nudged my shoulder with his hand, an amused smirk on his face. "The way you look at her and the way she looks at you…it reminds me of me and your mother when we first met," he smiled fondly at some memory.

"Dad…we're just…we're still getting to know each other," I didn't want my parents to be too disappointed when Bella's time with me was up and I had to tell them that we 'broke up' and that they'd never see her again._ I'd_ never see her again.

"Edward, now I know you don't have a lot of experience with these things but…let _me_ tell you, you and Isabella…there's something there. I'd hate to see you lose it because you didn't cherish it enough," he squeezed my shoulder. "This one is a keeper," he said with a raise of his eye brows, urging me to believe it before turning back to Bella and mom. Staring at my father's profile, I noticed the crinkles around his blue eyes and the lines surrounding the smile on his mouth. He and my mom had been together for twenty years. Not once had I seen them pissed at each other; of course they fought but a quick grin and a swift hug would always solve the problem. _Twenty years_ and my father still had a goofy grin on his face whenever he saw my mom. It was my parents love that I kept in the back of my mind to show me how love should be. But unfortunately, I never had the chance to have anyone to try it out with. I never had a chance.

With Kate, I might as well have been invisible. I had no say in the relationship. I went wherever she told me to and I never got a chance to argue because as soon as I'd begin to voice my opinion, she'd throw her boobs in my face and—sometimes, quite literally—quiet me with them and sexual promises for the rest of the night. It was her I'd given my virginity to in a eight minute haste in a smelly hotel room above the ballroom where the senior prom was being held. It was the most embarrassing night of my life. I never enjoyed sex with her and because of my terrible experiences with her in the bedroom, I haven't had sex since she left.

Most people would've given up—I had given up, actually. But seeing my parents like this tonight is…rekindling my want for companionship. For someone to come home to every night. Someone to look at me the way my mother looks at my father. Lovingly. Adoringly. And I wanted that person to be Bella. Love is unusual and spontaneous. But could love really come from a relationship like this? One where I pay her to pretend to like me? That's just too far fetched.

"Edward? Edward?" I blinked, looking towards the voice that called my name. Bella.

"Yes? I'm sorry, what's wrong?" She slid the album off her lap and onto the coffee table before standing.

"It's getting late. Your mother suggested we head home."

"Yes," my mother agreed. "It's almost ten." My father took his place by my mother's side, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his side as she smiled up at him.

"Right. Yes. I guess we better be going," I rubbed my hands on my jeans and stood. Kissing my mother's cheek I thanked her, "Dinner was fantastic, mom. Thanks for behaving yourself," I joked.

"Thank you, sweetheart," she accepted as she kissed me on my cheek as well, "You stop being a stranger and come and see us more often, okay? And take care of this gorgeous girl," she added loud enough for Bella to hear and I could picture her face reddening.

"Okay, mother," I grinned before giving my father a tight, one armed hug. "Tonight was fun, dad. Thanks for the uh…advice."

He winked. "No need to thank me just make sure you take it."

"Will do."

"It was nice to meet you, Mr-"

"Oh, call us Esme and Carlisle, darling," my mother instructed.

"Okay," Bella smiled wide, "it was nice to meet you Esme and Carlisle. I had a wonderful time. You have a beautiful home," she gushed.

"Thank you, dear." My mother wasted no time in giving Bella a huge hug like they were old friends and my father gave her a brief, awkward hug as well before I ushered Bella to the door, resting my hand on the small of her back like she'd taught me. I noticed we hadn't gotten the chance to use the brief kiss thing we'd tried…but that was probably for the best considering what happened before.

"You're welcome in my home anytime you like, Bella. Don't you be a stranger either," were the last words my mother said before we left.

As soon as the door shut, Bella's mood seemed to deflate. The happy smile she'd been wearing on her face the entire evening slowly disappeared and her eyes were on the ground as we walked to the car in silence. I got in and started the car, immediately turning the CD back on, hoping Kings of Leon would put a smile back on her face but she continued to be in her glum mood, staring out the window blankly as I pulled from the driveway. I wanted to say something; to start a conversation but I was terrible at dealing with people who were upset and I had nothing to say. When the CD came back to the track _King of the Rodeo_ that'd we'd been listening to before, I turned it up, hoping the memories would cheer her up. But as soon as the song started, she silently reached over and turned the volume down so that the words were nothing but a whisper in the car. I sighed and gave up, wishing I could read her mind.

**=TTH=**

Leaving the car on, I walked Bella to her door and as she opened her house, I stood awkwardly on the porch. "So…I guess this is goodbye," I said to her back. I didn't want it to be like this. I at least wanted to share a proper goodbye with her. "Bella?" I tried again when she didn't acknowledge my voice. She finally turned to me slowly, pressing her back against the door as she regarded me, the porch light illuminating her face. "Are you okay?" I questioned when I saw a single tear slide down her cheek. Instinctively, I reached a hand up to wipe it away—

"Don't touch me," she hissed at me though her face was calm. I took a small step back, confused and wounded. "This is our last night, right? I won't ever see you again?" she asked after a while. Her voice was shaky as she held back tears.

"Yes. I think so," I responded cautiously. "Please tell me what's wrong…" she was worrying me, staring off into the distance.

"I don't cry very much. It's not my style, you know?" she laughed nervously, swiping a hand across her cheek to catch a stray tear. "Or I didn't before…but I have lately. Cried a lot, I mean."

"Bella-"

"Let me finish, okay? I just want to say something." I nodded and she sniffled before speaking again. "I don't necessarily believe in the true love thing. I think it's portrayed much more glamorously than it actually is. Not to mention, it's the cheesiest thing. I just wasn't into it. I don't really want roses and candy and for a guy to 'sweep me off my feet'," she said, making air quotes with her fingers. "But, you know, if a guy is sweet enough then it's like 'whatever…thanks' but I don't need it, I…" she huffed.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't want or need to fall in love. I don't want it or like it. Jacob was…a childhood friend who needed and help and who happened to be good in bed. Umm…you didn't need to know that," she ran a hand through her hair in agitation because she couldn't seem to find the words. I continued to look on confused as she wracked her brains for what she should say next. "My profession doesn't exactly allow me to be able to date or something and the last thing I wanted to do was fall for a…customer." Her brown eyes found mine and they were wide and cautious. And scared. "And then you came along and fucked things up," she voiced loudly making me jump a bit. I fucked things up? Something on my face must've portrayed how wounded I felt. I never meant to mess anything up, nor did I understand what it was that I had fucked up. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant it like that. It's not your fault. I didn't mean to blame you," she apologized.

"It's fine, I'm fine. Please, um…go on," I advised to which she quickly nodded.

"You're different from anyone I've ever met and I don't know, I just felt this…_pull_ to you. I felt comfortable with you from the start. And after the shit with Jacob, I didn't really want to admit to myself that I had feelings for another guy so soon—let alone another customer. But I did. I think I might've had feelings for you the first day we met. But I wasn't going to do anything about it. I figured I'd finish out the week and then be rid of you. I wanted to be single; be alone.

"But it's not very easy to ignore the feelings when they make themselves so…powerful," she breathed, glancing at me while gesturing wildly with her hands. I swallowed the huge lump of nervousness in my throat because Bella was admitting her feelings to me. I had a chance. "Then I fucking kissed you! What the hell is wrong with me? I felt like such a dumbass for that. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you did something wrong that day. I'm so sorry," she whispered. I couldn't speak because no words seemed right to say right now. The silence built agonizingly, neither of us speaking for minutes and minutes.

"I cry a lot over you," she finally said, staring at the sky. "Because I can't tell whether you're into me or if you're just going along with what I say. Because I'm too fucking screwed up with this…escort shit to ever have a normal life to share with you. Because I'm so fucking tired of being rejected!" she yelled, her tears starting anew. "Because I can't stop fucking crying anymore! For a while, I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I spent last night just thinking. Thinking about why the fuck I couldn't get you out of my head and…I think I figured out but it doesn't make any sense because…those stupid fairytales and sitcoms and movies make no sense.

"You can't fall in love with someone you hardly know, it's impossible, right?" she wiped her nose with the back of her hand, glaring at the moon. "I thought they were stupid. But what the fuck else other explanation can there be for how I feel about you and what you make me feel? And your fucking family…your family is perfect. They're so fucking sweet and I'm screwed up! My parents are divorced and haven't talked in years! You don't have to work and I'm a whore for a living!" she practically screamed the words as wracking sobs took over her. I wanted to comfort her, to hug her but the way she shrunk into the door, gripping the knob, told me she wanted space; didn't want to be touched.

"I'm terrible for you," she started to choke out, "If I could I'd send you as far away from me as possible because, as you can see, I'm a fucking mess! The last thing you need. You have your shit together, I don't. And I don't want that shit. The fairytale shit, the roses, the romance, the love. I don't want it. So…" she cleaned her nose once more and took a few moments to wipe her face and compose herself, laughing sarcastically at her situation. I was frozen watching her gorgeous face smeared with her dripping, smudged make up and her hair frazzled from her hand having been through it so many times. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and tell her that she meant as much to me as I did to her. But her voice cut me off as I began to speak.

"So, the week is over. Our time together is over. I just…I wanted to leave you knowing that'd I'd given you the truth you deserved," she nodded in closure, finally making eye contact again. "I want to move on. It's what best for you and me. I hope you respect that. I just don't want what I seem to…_need_. I don't want to need somebody. That's just how I am," she said, sounding disgusted. No, please no. Don't tell me goodbye, Bella. "So, _you know_ how I feel about you," she said as she opened the door to her house. "But I won't say the words," she laughed unsteadily. "I won't ever say the words, Edward," she repeated, mostly to herself, stepping inside but standing still in the doorway, watching me; drinking me in like she was trying to remembered every detail about me. "Goodbye, Edward," she said as she started to close the door. "Bella, wait, please-" I leapt forward, attempting to catch her but the door slammed in my face. "No…" I whispered. Determined, I yanked, pushed, and pulled on the doorknob but it was locked. I resorted to banging on the door. "Bella! Bella, please! Bella, open the door!" I pounded harder on the wood, desperate for her to let me in. "Bella, damn it, open the door!" I screamed. "I love you," I whispered to the wood, leaning my head against it. "I love you too, please," I said pathetically. But the door never opened and I knew it never would.

Surrendering, I walked numbly to my car and got it, starting it. I registered what song was on with a grim humor as it seemed to fit the situation. Memories of me and Bella from this afternoon flooded over me and I started home, thinking about her loud laughter and how I'd never hear it again as Caleb's voice dragged me further into depression.

_Salty leave_

_Stay for me_

_Stay for me_

_We drank wine in the matinee and _

_The spotlight showed what I chased away_

_Stay for me…_

**=TTH=**

**A/N: You guys, this chapter kinda killed me. I mean Bella basically had a full on breakdown there, didn't she? Maybe I should change this to Angst…hmm…**

**But, of course, this isn't the end and they will be back. I think EPOV helped me tell this chapter better. I might stick with him for a while. **

**ALSO, you may have noticed Bella hasn't been paid lately that's because obviously, they both have other things on they're mind and it just doesn't matter anymore…**

**not gonna blab because, if I've done this right then you guys probably need some time…**

**Please REVIEW and tell me what you think, especially on this chapter because I'm a bit anxious. Until next time, guys…**

**~LazyMasochist(Marie)**


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